Life After Praimfaya
by trashwriter19
Summary: Praimfaya is fast approaching and Clarke hasn't returned. Bellamy makes the decision to stay behind in the hopes that she's still alive. With the bunker set in their sights, this classic team of leaders tries to make it back to their people. What could go wrong? #Bellarke
1. Chapter 1

**15 minutes to launch **

The rocket echoed through Becca's lab. Raven began barking orders and everyone hurried into action.

"Bellamy! We can't wait much longer!" Raven shouted over the ever-growing noise of Primfaya outside. 

_Please Clarke. _I thought to myself. She had been gone for quite almost an hour now. What on Earth was taking her so long?

"Bellamy! We have to go!" Raven's voiced barely cut through the ringing in my ears. We couldn't leave Clarke; not after all we had been through. I felt sick. 

My thoughts were interrupted by Monty's hand on my shoulder. 

"Bellamy. I don't want to leave her behind either, but Raven's right. We've waited as long as we can." I could hear the regret in Monty's voice but it didn't make me inclined to leave. He's right. If we didn't leave, we would all die. In fact, there's a good chance that Clarke is already dead. I could feel the lump rising in my throat.

"Bellamy! Time's up!" Raven yelled over the rocket engines.

Monty backed away from me and reluctantly took his place in the ship next to Harper. Everyone else was ready for launch. I stepped towards the rocket and stared at the two empty seats. I couldn't leave without her. I couldn't go all the way back to the ark with the empty reminder of Clarke's absence staring me in the face. I had to wait; even if it was useless.

Everyone was glaring at me in anticipation. I could hear panicked yells filling the room but my thoughts blocked any chance of coherency. I stepped into the rocket and spoke directly to Raven. 

"Get everyone to safety. I need to stay behind for Clarke." I put my hand on her shoulder as I fought the pull in my chest. "May we meet again." 

Raven's eyes were glassy as she put her hand on mine and repeated "May we meet again."

Without another word and ignoring the cries protest from the rest of my friends, I shut the hatch to the rocket and backed away. Even if Clarke is gone, at least I know Raven will bring everyone else to safety. She's a good leader, they'll be fine without me.

The engines began rumbling and the lab ceiling hatch opened. I backed away and shut the compartment door that isolated the rocket. As the door slid shut, I took in what might be the last glance of my friends and held back my emotions. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest but it had to be done.

_They would be safe. That's all that matters._ I thought to myself. 

The door closed with a loud thud and a securing click. A minute later, I heard the rocket's engines roar as it launched out of the lab. They were gone. I stood there for a minute unable to move. _What had I done? How would I survive? _

For now, nothing else mattered. I needed to find Clarke.


	2. Chapter 2

I tried to gather myself as all my emotions hit me like a wave. Standing alone in the lab caused the reality of my situation to finally sink in. I was going to die.

I started running through every possibility of survival in my head. I could try to make it to the lighthouse bunker, but the oxygen generator had been removed. Even if I survived the blast, there wouldn't be clean air. I'd die in minutes.

The lab could work. I don't know how much food or water is left here, but if the lab could withstand the blast, Clarke and I might be able to take shelter here until the fire passes and then travel to the bunker in Polis. However, I won't be able to leave. I'm not immune to the radiation as Clarke is. She would have to find us both food and clean water. This plan is reliant on Clarke's return. If I stay here, I'll run out of resources and eventually starve to death. If Clarke never comes back, I have no way of obtaining new provisions. Without her and her nightblood, I'm trapped. 

Wait. _Nightblood_.

My heart began to pound and I could feel my pulse in my head. I started searching through the lab. I knew it had to be here; Clarke said Abby made a few extra doses. So far the nightblood serum had worked on Clarke. If I could just find it, we would both be ok.

As I searched through every drawer in the lab, I could hear the rumbling of Primfaya get closer. My heart was racing and could feel myself start to panic. If Clarke wasn't back by now, she probably wouldn't be back at all. 

Just as I began to lose hope, I felt my hand close around a syringe. I opened the drawer completely and saw three syringes full of the dark liquid. This was it. One dose, and I could survive. _We_ could survive.

I took the cap off the needle and pointed it towards the ceiling—pushing out any air remaining in the top of the syringe. I grabbed a tourniquet and tied off my arm. I'd seen medicine given intravenously before, but I'd never done it myself. I felt around for what I thought was my vein, gritted my teeth, and gently pushed the needle into my skin. As I pushed down the plunger, I watched the thick, black liquid disappear into my arm.

I waited for something to feel different, but there was no change. How long was the serum supposed to take? Do I need more than one— 

My thoughts were interrupted as the front door to the lab was thrown open. I ran towards the entrance and saw Clarke slam the door shut behind her. She ripped off the helmet to her hazmat suit and vomited on the floor. She had been exposed. I ran over to her but she collapsed on the floor before I got there. Her eyes were shut and there was a pool of black next to her head. Nightblood. I placed my finger by her neck and felt for a pulse. It was weak but it was there. She was alive. She made it back.

I gently scooped her up in my arms and started towards the bedroom upstairs_._

_Clarke was alive. I made the right decision. This wasn't all for nothing._

It had been hours since Clarke arrived back at the lab and yet there was no change. Primfaya had hit the lab so hard that the walls were rumbling and equipment fell all around us, but the structure remained standing.

I got Clarke out of the hazmat suit and cleaned her radiation burns as best I could. With any luck, the nightblood serum would help her repair her wounds. I sat by her bedside waiting for any sign of movement. She was so still that I could almost pretend she was sleeping. ALMOST. 

I sat next to her, watching her sleep. It had been so long since she looked so peaceful. Her hair flowed gracefully around her shoulders as she slept. God I want nothing more than to go back to that one night, but I have no idea how Clarke feels. I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips. With any luck, this time alone together would help us repair our relationship.

After a few hours, I couldn't sit idle by her side anymore. I decided to check the lab's provisions. It turns out the lab had plenty of rations and clean water stored away. Clarke and I could remain here long enough for her to heal, and then we could make our journey to Polis. The terrain outside was completely unknown. Without looking outside, I could only assume that we were now living in a burned-out wasteland. If the fire took out the trees and some of the nearby structures, then we might be able to make it to Polis in a day. However, if there was debris left, it might take us longer to maneuver the Rover through it.

Either way, the radiation would still be a problem. Even with the nightblood serum, the radiation would still cause severe reactions and burns. We would need functional hazmat suits and enough oxygen tanks to last us the entire journey. With our current supply, that wouldn't be possible. That's a problem for later, though. First, Clarke needs to wake the hell up.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Clarke's POV

When I woke up, I could feel the sting of fresh radiation burns across my face and neck. I gingerly ran my fingers across the burns, assessing the damage. They felt scabbed over—already healing. With just about all my energy expended, I dropped my hand dropped on the pillow next to my head. Wait—pillow? The last I remembered was the ceiling of Becca's lab.

I slowly peered my eyes open, squinting from the light overhead. Somehow, I was moved to the bed. How did I get here? Did I wake up before and forget? My head was spinning and I felt sick. It's entirely possible I have no recollection of getting here. It seems I was exposed to the radiation too long.

Every muscle in my body ached. It's like I could feel the poison of the radiation moving through my veins. I wanted to scream from the pain but even opening my eyes was a chore. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes once again. If I could fall asleep, my body could continue to repair itself. If my nightblood does its job, I should be able to move when I wake up.

I let my thoughts trail away as I slowly drifted back into a painful sleep of exhaustion.

* * *

I woke up in just as much pain as before. My muscles were screaming for relief. My skin felt thin and raw; as if the slightest touch could tear it open. I tried opening my eyes again—this time it wasn't as difficult. Nothing had changed- I was still in Becca's lab. Alone.

God, how long had it been since Primfaya? It had to be hours, if not days. Once again, I reached up to my face where the radiation burns were. They had almost healed. This is a good sign—the nightblood was working, I would be ok. Unfortunately, the healing process was almost unbearable. In the future I'd have to risk exposure in smaller increments to avoid immobility. It would be tough, but with the hazmats and oxygen, I could make it. Regardless, the radiation will minimize over time and I'll be able to withstand the outside air without any protection. The only question is: how long could that take?

That's a problem for another time. Right now I need to focus on getting myself out of this bed. I attempted to sit up slowly, placing most of my weight on my hands. I couldn't get to a full sitting position and gave up as I slumped my weight against the headboard. I was already panting and out of breath. Maybe standing was out of the question. If I went back to sleep, I might be able to get up the next time I wake. I settled for stretching. As my hands stretched over my head, I let out a loud groan. Every move sent shooting pains down my spine. Maybe stretching was out of the question as well.

Just as I considered going back to sleep, I heard footsteps quickly approaching from down the hall. Who could that possibly be? Everyone left on Earth was supposed to be in the bunker. Oh god, had my friends been unable to return to the Ark? Did they stay behind? They would all die of radiation exposure!

"Clarke?" Bellamy's voice was hesitant. "Clarke. Dear god I thought you'd never wake up." Before I could respond, he rushed over to my bed and gripped me in a tight embrace. I let out a small cry of pain as he squeezed my burning muscles.

"Shit. Sorry! Are you alright?" He quickly pulled his hands away and started inspecting me for injuries. God, it was really him.

"Clarke?"

All I could do was hazily stare into his deep brown eyes. There were so many thoughts running through my mind. I felt completely in awe at the sight of him.

"Christ Clarke, please say something." He gently grabbed my hand hoping for a response. His touch sent chills down my spine.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat burned as I tried to respond. I couldn't speak. All that call me out was a soft groan. The look of worry on Bellamy's face only worsened.

"What's wrong? Can you speak?" the panic grew in his voice. "Clarke, do you know where you are?" Bellamy questioned. His glassy eyes were begging me to respond. All I could manage was a slight nod. He gently squeezed my hand in response.

"How bad is it? How can I help?" His eyes searched mine for any sign of an answer.

All I could manage was a slight shake of my head and a weak squeeze of his hand. I wanted to ask him why the hell he was here, and where the rest of our friends were, but once again I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. He could sense my frustration.

"Listen, I'm sure you have a million questions. I promise I'll answer every single one, but I think you need to rest. When you wake, I'll explain everything, ok?"

I nodded again. He squeezed my hand once more and gave me a half smile before helping me slide back down into the bed. He placed the blankets over my shoulders and hit the lights on his way out. Once again, I drifted into a deep, healing sleep.

* * *

The third time I woke up, I felt much more aware. My body was still sore but it wasn't debilitating. I could feel a hand on my shoulder as I fluttered my eyelids open to Bellamy's gaze.

"Hey Princess, feeling any better?" He said with a half smile as he moved his hand away from my shoulder.

"Loads." My voice was hoarse but it was clear. Bellamy's smile grew at my response. "Can you help me sit up?" Without a response, his hands moved to my waist as he helped lift me into a sitting position. He placed a pillow behind my back and sat next to me on the edge of the bed.

"Ok. Start by telling me why the hell you're here, and where everyone else is." My voice was soft but he could tell I was angry.

"They all took the rocket back to the Ark. With any luck, they're doing fine. I stayed behind." He held is gaze on mine, waiting for my wrath.

"Bellamy, why on Earth would you do that? It's a miracle you're not dead already. The radiation will kill you! You can't set foot outside of this lab! What would you have done if I hadn't made it back? You would have been stuck here all alone." My anger was rising and I paused to gain control of myself. I couldn't tell if I was angry at him for leaving our friends without a leader, or risking his life on the off-chance that I was still alive. Either way, I was furious.

"Are you done?"

"Am I done? Are you kidding me? Bellamy how can you be so—"

"I took the nightblood serum. The radiation won't kill me." He said confidently.

"You what? Bellamy! How do you know if you even administered it correctly? What if it doesn't work? Did you even—" Before I could finish, Bellamy pulled a knife out of his back pocket and quickly pricked his finger. A small dot of black liquid pooled at the wound.

"See? It worked. Next question." He said smugly. I grabbed his hand and brought his finger closer to inspect it. I was speechless. The serum actually worked. I wouldn't be stuck here alone. We could make it to the bunker together. Rather than argue a moot point, I let my anger dissipate. There was no use in arguing something that couldn't be changed.

"How long has it been since Primfaya?" I stared at my hands waiting for his response.

"Five days. You've been in and out of sleep since you made it back. Your burns have been getting better. It looks like they're just about healed. I was terrified you wouldn't wake up at all."

"Five days." I repeated. It felt like a few hours. How had I lost so much time? We have so much to do if we're going to make it back to the bunker.

"Listen, Clarke. We have plenty of rations here. The lab is stocked with enough food and water to last us at least six months. There's no rush in getting out of here. Once you're entirely healed, we can start planning our trip to the bunker." I nodded in response. At least we were on the same page—the bunker is the most practical option for us.

"I brought up some food. You haven't had anything since you came back to the lab. Do you think you can eat?" I nodded. Bellamy brought over a tray of food from the desk and placed it on my lap.

"Thank you."

"I'll go get some water. You're probably dehydrated as well. I tried getting you to drink a few times when you woke up but it wasn't successful." He gave me a slight smile as he left the room.

I pulled the tray closer to me and picked up the silverware. It was some kind of meat with dried fruit and dehydrated vegetables. I cut a sliver of meat and brought it to my mouth. Before I could take a bite, I inhaled the smell of it and felt sick. I dropped my fork and quickly pushed the tray off my lap. I hopped out of bed just in time to make it over to the waste-bin in the corner of the room. My body started to retch and my head was pounding. I was already dehydrated and hungry, this certainly didn't help. My body started retching again and I felt one hand on my back as another pulled my hair out of my face. After it stopped, I slumped against the wall and leaned one arm on the waste-bin as I placed the other around my knee. I let my head fall back against the wall.

"Are you alright? Is it the radiation?" Bellamy asked as he handed me a glass of water. I shook my head.

"I'm fine. I don't think it's the radiation, I think the meat has gone sour." I said as I sipped from the glass. Bellamy scrunched his eyebrows as he went over to the bed to inspect the tray.

"Are you sure? I had some of this earlier today and I feel fine."

"Hm. Maybe it is the radiation. I guess I'm just not up for solid food just yet. Water is fine for now." I took another sip from my glass. "Since I'm up anyway, can we start to discuss our plans? I'll should be fine to leave in a couple days."

Bellamy hesitated slightly before responding. "I guess that's fine." He sat on the ground across from me, leaning against the bed.

"What is it? Is there something you're not telling me?" I started to worry, he seemed reluctant.

"Well, I suppose." He paused, rubbing his hands along his pants. "The thing is, we don't have enough oxygen supply to get us to the bunker. I mean, we both have nightblood so we can withstand the radiation, but I don't know if that will protect us long enough to get us to the bunker." He looked at the ground, waiting for my response.

"How bad is it?"

"We have enough oxygen to last approximately 16 hours total—8 hours each. I've searched the lab nonstop and I haven't found any more tanks."

"It takes about 10 hours to get from here to Polis, correct?" Bellamy noded. "Alright, so in perfect conditions, we would have 8 hours with oxygen and 2 without. That's if we take the rover and get there without any stops or obstacles. If the lake water levels are low and the forest is cleared out, we could get there in even less time."

"Right. However, we don't know what the conditions are like outside. There could be debris to navigate around, or fires still burning. If we run into any obstacles, we're looking at upwards of 2 hours with complete radiation exposure. Obviously it has lessened since Primfaya, but it's only been 5 days. It's not at a level where we won't be affected." Bellamy said, defeated. He had clearly thought about this while I was asleep.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Both of considering all other options.

"What if we have practice runs? The tanks are re-fillable, correct?" Bellamy nodded. "If they're re-fillable, then we can take smaller journeys towards Polis to assess the damage and map out our most practical route. We can go out as far as we can with enough oxygen to return. If we take turns, we can go farther and map out as much of the terrain as possible." The excitement in my voice was clear even with the hoarseness.

Bellamy sat there with his brows together for a moment before he met my gaze. "It could work." He said. "But what about the conditions? What if there's too much debris or the conditions have changed drastically? Mapping it out won't help us if there's still no way around it." He stood up and began pacing.

"That's true, but we don't even know what we're facing. It's worth a shot, Bell." I gave him a half smile.

"I agree. But, we should wait some time before we start. Like I said, we have plenty of rations here. We might as well wait another week or two so the conditions improve a bit." He said.

"Alright. A week from today, we make the first trip out. Together." He stopped pacing and turned to face me.

"Together." He smiled at me. After our first trip, we could go out separately. Assessing the initial damage as a team makes the most sense.

"We can start mapping tomorrow. We'll have to work on a scale and do our best to add what we remember from before Primfaya. Once we take our first trip, we can develop a key and symbols for the route." I was confident in my ability to make this map. I could draw fairly well and looked forward to the new challenge. However, that would wait until tomorrow. I started to get up and felt a rush of dizziness come over me. Bellamy noticed my unsteadiness and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Before we start anything, you need to heal." He helped me back over to the bed and placed the tray in my lap once again. "I know you said the meat has gone bad, but try to eat something. If you don't get your strength back, you won't be mapping anything." He gave me a half smile before he turned and walked down the hall.

There was a strange tension between us. It seemed like he was nervous to be around me. If I'm being completely honest, I felt the same. Ever since our night together a while ago, there's been an awkward tension between us. I wanted nothing more than to share our time together as passionately as we had before, but it seemed like we were a long way from that. Regardless, we are quite literally the last two people on earth; this tension will have to go away sooner or later.

I ate the dried fruit and picked at the vegetables before I could feel the tiredness returning. I placed the tray on the nightstand and slid back under the covers. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought back to the terrain between here and Polis. We would have a lot to map out.


	4. Chapter 4

[I'm still working on new chapters so stay tuned if you've enjoyed this so far. I anticipate writing at least another 10 chapters. I have a lot of ideas and I'm just trying to get them all down. Thanks for reading :) ]**Chapter 4**

Bellamy's POV

As I left the bedroom, I felt a significant weight lift off my shoulders. Clarke and I were a team; we could get through this together. I was still hesitant about what lurked outside the safety of the lab, but it was much less threatening now that I knew Clarke would be by my side.

I walked over to the makeshift bed I had been sleeping on. There was a couch in a private study room down the hall from the bedroom. It was lined with bookshelves full of science textbooks Becca must've read a dozen times. In the room, there was a small couch, and a reading desk. This must've been where she came to do her thinking.

I set myself up in this room to give Clarke some privacy. It's not like we were unfamiliar with sleeping next to each other, but I wasn't sure where our relationship stood. Therefore, I had been sleeping on the couch this entire time with my legs dangling off the edge. Nothing sounded more appealing than taking my place beside Clarke in the bedroom, but I thought it best to have that conversation once she was completely healed.

I haven't felt this helpless since we were in Mt. Weather. I wanted nothing more than to help Clarke through this illness, but I had no clue how to do that. I could clean her wounds well enough, but any medical knowledge beyond that was Clarke's area of specialty. With no one left to help us, the role of doctor was left to me. Once Clarke was healed, I would have to learn as much as I could from her in case one of us got injured again.

I wanted to continue thinking about Clarke's plans, but my body was begging for sleep. Now that Clarke was much better, I could actually have enough peace of mind to rest. I curled up on my small couch and pulled the blanket over my shoulders.

* * *

"-an you hear me? Bellamy? Bell, wake up." Clarke's soft voice gently woke me.

"Hey Princess." I said as I sat up, my eyes still drowsy with sleep.

"Have you been sleeping here the whole time?" She looked guilty as she said it. I nodded.

"It's not so bad. I think the couch is fun-sized compared to me, but I make it work." I smirked at her.

"You don't have to stay out here. I don't mind sharing. I mean-" she paused and looked down. "-as long as you're alright with that too. If not, I can take the couch for a while." She kept her gaze on her feet as she waited for my response.

"Well, this couch is pretty stiff. No need for _both_ of us to have back problems from this old thing." I raised my eyebrows at her and she met my gaze with those piercing blue eyes.

"You're ridiculous. Go to bed. I'll join you in a while." She smiled down at me. Without hesitation, I stood up from the couch and grabbed my blanket.

"Don't get too caught up in here, Princess. You're still healing." I gave her shoulder a squeeze before leaving the room. If only she knew what a shock that simple touch sent through my body.

I walked down the hallway and crawled into bed. I tried to wait for Clarke to return, but exhaustion took over instead.

I woke to Clarke's slow movements in the bed next to me. I opened my eyes to see her quietly running out of the room. I tried to shake the sleep from my head as I got up and followed her down the hall. The bathroom light was on with the door half-shut. I lightly knocked before pushing the door completely open. Clarke was on her knees in front of the toilet.

I bent down and pulled her hair away from her face. She retched a few more times before she moved to sit on the floor next to the toilet. I got up and filled a glass of water at the sink before kneeling back in front of her.

"Thank you." She said, her voice hoarse.

"Radiation _still_?" I tried to hide the concern in my voice. If the radiation was still affecting her this badly, something was terribly wrong.

"I don't know. I only feel nauseous, I don't have any other symptoms. This might just be my body's way of flushing the last of the radiation out of my system." She sighed and took a sip from the glass.

"Clarke, is there something you're not telling me? If you have other symptoms, you can tell me. Please don't hold anything back because you don't want me to worry." I looked her directly in the eyes, trying to find any sign of deception.

"Bellamy." She grabbed my hand. "I promise I'm not keeping anything from you. Honestly, I'm not sure what's wrong. I really do believe it's just residual effects from the radiation. I'm alright." She gave me a half smile as she lightly squeezed my hand.

"In that case, I'll start breakfast. Come on out when you're feeling better." I smiled back at her before I left. I really hoped she wasn't lying to me.


	5. Chapter 5

[[Sorry for the long break between chapters. Here's chapter 5, enjoy!]]

Clarke's POV

As I heard Bellamy's footsteps move down the hall, I took another sip of water and gently stood up. I lingered in front of the mirror and tried to assess what was wrong with me. What I told Bellamy was the truth; my muscle aches and pains had stopped and I felt completely healthy aside from the nausea. Before I could give anymore thought to the subject, I heard a loud crash from the kitchen. I put down my water glass and hurried into the out of the bathroom.

"Careful, Princess. There's glass all over the floor." Bellamy had a towel in hand as he carefully picked up pieces of glass.

"Isn't the princess supposed to be the clumsy damsel?" I teased as I walked over and began helping him pick up pieces of glass.

"You're hilarious." Bellamy mumbled sarcastically. He crouched down next to me and handed me a dish towel. For two people living through the apocalypse, our morning was refreshingly normal. With the two of us here together, I could almost forget the rest of the world existed. Somehow, spending time alone with Bellamy always had that effect on me.

"Earth to Clarke, you still with me?" Bellamy had a brow raised as I met his gaze. I gave him a smile in response. I wanted to tell him how glad I was that he stayed behind. I wanted to say how much he meant to me-How just a simple touch from him sent chills down my spine. However, the words were caught in my throat. I focused my attention back to the floor covered in glass.

"So what were you doing that caused such a mess?" I asked, changing the subject. He stood up and dropped his collected pieces into the waste bin.

"Well, I was attempting the very tedious task of removing rations from from their packaging and placing them onto a glass plate. I must have overestimated my abilities because I'm clearly not up to the task.

I let out a small laugh. "Wow your brave attempt will not go unnoticed." I dropped my own pieces into the waste bin and walked over to the counter. "Perhaps I should handle this dangerous task. Do you think you can manage coffee?" I said with mock concern.

"I'll try my best." Bellamy answered with a laugh.

"So was this part of your grand scheme to get out of prepping meals? I mean you could have just asked. There was no need to ruin a perfectly good plate." Bellamy snorted.

"Oh yeah, you caught me." He met my eyes with a grin that stretched ear to ear. I couldn't help but smile right back. We stood there for a moment in perfect bliss before the tension found its way between us once again. Bellamy cleared his throat and went back to making coffee. I followed suit and went back to prepping breakfast.

"Bell-"

I struggled to find the right words.

"I know." he said quietly. I let out a big sigh, unable to come up with a response. We stood in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"Listen, what happened between us-I don't regret it. I don't expect you to feel the same, but we can't keep-"

"I don't regret it either." Bellamy interjected. He slowly lifted his gaze from his feet to my eyes. Those deep, brown eyes were easy to get lost in. I tried to read his expression but failed.

"Bellamy, it was almost two months ago. We can move past it. We can pretend it never happened." I turned away from him, scared of his reaction. I heard him let out a soft sigh.

"Alright." He said it so quietly it was almost a whisper. I felt a pang in my chest at his response. I didn't turn around to face him so he wouldn't see my disappointment. Part of me wished-no, not part-all of me wished he would have fought me. I didn't want to pretend it never happened. I was hoping he felt the same.

"Coffee is done." Bellamy's voice broke the silence.

"We should start mapping after breakfast. I found large sheets of parchment paper in the study. I think those should work well." I grabbed the plates and started towards the table, not waiting for a response. I placed the plates on the table and walked toward the bathroom. "I'll be back in a minute." I muttered as I left the room.

When I got to the bathroom, I quickly shut and locked the door behind me. My heart was crushed. Somehow, I was hoping that Bellamy and I could mend our relationship. Clearly, he was no longer interested. I suppose I just needed a minute to process everything. I didn't want him to see me so upset. I took a few deep breaths and tried to gather myself before leaving.

"You feeling ok?" Bellamy had a concerned look on his face.

"Just fine." I managed a smile and joined him despite the hurt I was feeling. I set my eyes on the plate in front of me, avoiding his lingering gaze. Clearly, he could tell something was wrong.

We continued breakfast trying to make conversation. Tension still lingered between us during breaks of silence, but we both worked hard to cover it.

"I think we should look outside." Bellamy choked on his coffee.

"Clarke, I thought we agreed to wait five days. We don't know how bad it is yet."

"I know, but we could just look. We don't have to travel anywhere, we could-"

"Clarke. It took you 5 days to completely recover from the radiation exposure. And quite frankly, I'm not convinced you're entirely healed. Regardless, the radiation is still too high. Curiosity is not worth the risk of exposure."

I let out a large sigh, trying to control my frustration. I didn't want to argue, I knew he was right. However, a part of me still needed to know what we were up against outside. I picked up my plate and walked over to the sink, ending the conversation. After my dishes were clean, I turned back towards Bellamy. His eyes were already watching me.

"I'm going to start the sketches. Once I have a basic outline of the terrain, I'll transfer it over onto a larger sheet. We can go from there." Bellamy nodded in response and I left for the study.

I spent hours perfecting my sketches and trying to jot down every inch of detail I could remember. I tried adding in small bits of trees and small mountains to represent the sorts of terrain we would be facing. There was no telling how much of it was left, but I wanted everything to be perfect. While I was sketching, Bellamy searched every inch of Becca's lab for anything useful. We were both hoping he'd find another oxygen tank or two, but that was unlikely. Every so often, he would join me in the study and offer details from his own memory.

Over lunch, we talked about what symbols we might need to represent obstacles outside. I jotted down a key and set out to perfecting each symbol after lunch. By the end of the day, I had constructed a beautifully detailed map with a scale and key. I would likely have to make many more as we explored the terrain, but this was a great starting point. Once I perfected the finishing touches, I hurried into the lab; eager to flaunt my work.

I walked right up to the desk where Bellamy was rummaging and placed the map down in front of him.

"Christ, Clarke. You really outdid yourself with this one." Bellamy moved his head closer to the paper, analyzing it closer. "There's so much detail, how did you even manage?" He continued studying the map for a moment before finally looking up to meet my stare. "So what's your plan?"

"I'm thinking we use this one as our foundation. This is just a rough guide of the terrain that existed. Obviously we'll need to update and change the routes as we explore, but I thought this could help us navigate through whatever we're facing and continue in the right direction."

"This is perfect. Thanks, Clarke. You're saving us both." He looked up at me with a smile.

"Obviously." I teased. I gathered the map up carefully and began to feel tiredness creep over me. "Well, I think I'm going to call it a night." I said through a yawn.

"Are you sure you're alright? You haven't seemed like yourself since we've been here. Want to tell me what's going on?" Bellamy's eyes were filled with worry as they searched mine.

I let out a small sigh as I tried to gather myself. "Honestly Bell, I don't know. I feel alright but just not quite at 100%. I think it's just concern for everyone in Polis. I know the bunker was made to withstand something as horrible as this, but I think a small part of me is just eager to know that they're all ok. And then there's our friends on the Ark...if they even made it there." I let my voice trail off and turned away from him. It wasn't completely untrue; I was worried for everyone, but that wasn't the reason I haven't been myself. In truth, I think the radiation permanently damaged my immune system and I wasn't sure I would ever completely heal. Bellamy's hand on my shoulder shook me from my thoughts.

"I understand. I'm worried too. I guess the best we can do for now is continue with the plan and make it to the bunker as soon as possible. As for the Ark, maybe we could try to get a radio connected. Do you think that would help?" I nodded and he gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Well, if that's what's troubling you, then I get it. But Clarke, just know that I'm here for you. Obviously you don't have much of a choice when it comes to companions right now, but we're a team. If something's bothering you, I want to help you through it. I know you would do the same for me."

"I know." I turned to face him. "Thank you." I managed a slight smile. I wanted to express my feelings for him, I wanted to tell him about how scared I was. I wanted nothing more than to fall apart and let him pick up the pieces. "I'm going to bed. Try not to have any more plate issues in the morning, alright?"

"I'll do my best." As I walked out of the lab, I could feel his eyes on me. Clearly, he wasn't buying my half hearted explanation. I'd tell him eventually, just not right now.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up to Bellamy's arm around my waist. I peered over at him hazily shaking the sleep from my eyes. His face was buried in his pillow and I could hear faint snores coming from his side of the bed. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. It was rare to see him so peaceful and at ease. I carefully lifted his arm off my waist as I slid out of bed. He turned over but remained asleep.

Before I could make it out of the room, I felt a wave of nausea again. I rushed over to the waste-bin in the corner of the bedroom, unable to make it to the bathroom.

"Clarke? What-" Bellamy got out of bed and rushed over to my side. He grabbed my hair and held it behind my head. My body continued retching and felt his hand gently rub the small of my back. After a couple minutes, the nausea subsided and I slumped down next to the waste bin. Bellamy got up, grabbed a box of tissues from the nightstand, and handed them to me.

"Thank you." I croaked. Bellamy sat on the edge of the bed and faced me, his eyes still heavy with sleep.

"Clarke, _please_. I need you to be honest with me. What is going on?" His voice cracked, he looked so worried.

I tried to explain my theory, but my eyes welled up with tears. The truth was, I had no idea what was going on. I started to sob and buried my face in my hands. Bellamy came over and sat beside me. After a moment, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his chest.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. We're a team."

"Bell, I honestly don't know. I'm worried that the radiation was too much and caused permanent damage. But in all honesty, I simply don't know. I get nauseous easily, I'm tired all the time, and I just don't feel quite like myself. On top of that I-" My eyes widened and I lifted my head in shock. All of a sudden, it clicked. My symptoms all put together made sense. "Oh god." I whispered. I broke out of Bellamy's arms, stood up, and began pacing.

"What?" Bellamy stood up too, waiting for my response. I stopped pacing and tried to gather my thoughts. The tears were still streaming from my eyes and an overwhelming panic came over me.

"I….Bell...I…" I tried to get the words out between my gasping breaths but failed.

"Hey hey hey, it's alright. You're alright. Just take a breath." Bellamy took both my hands in his and looked me in the eye. Somehow, his deep, kind eyes helped me calm just a bit.

"Bellamy, please don't be angry with me.."

"I promise. Whatever it is, you can tell me." He gently squeezed my hands. I took a deep breath and tried to gather myself.

"Bell...I think I might be pregnant." I let go of his hands and looked down at my feet, afraid of his reaction. He took a step back and didn't say anything. I slowly lifted my head, peering at his face in an attempt to read his emotions. His eyes were darting back and forth as if to make sense of the situation. "Listen, I know this is the last possible thing we thought would happen. I know we agreed to forget about that night. It's alright if you're angry, I don't expect you to-"

"Clarke stop." Bellamy said abruptly. He took both of my hands in his. "How could I possibly be angry with you? I know I said I wanted to forget our night together, but I don't. In truth, I was afraid that's what you wanted. I didn't want the tension between us to grow. Clarke. I love you. I don't know how you feel, but I don't want to move on. I know you're scared, but this child is ours. Yes, this may be the worst timing we could have asked for-" I laughed slightly as he smiled. "-But I'm here for you every step of the way. I love you. Frankly, I've loved you for a long time." Bellamy smiled down at me with those deep, brown eyes. I felt all of the panic leave me as we stood there together. A team.

I placed my arms around his neck and stood on my toes to kiss him. I felt his hands slowly grip back around my waist. His hand moved up my spine, sending chills all over my body. He moved his hands back down my spine and pulled my thighs up around him. He carried me over to the bed and kept his grip tight around my waist. I began to tug at the hem of his shirt when he broke away. I saw the look of concern slowly seep back into his eyes.

"Clarke. This changes everything. If you are pregnant, we have what: six months before it's too dangerous for you to travel?"

"Yeah, around six months. Probably less. I think I'm about 7 weeks along." My voice was almost a whisper. The panic started to set in once again. Bellamy sat up and moved next to me. I stayed where I was and looked up at the ceiling. Our moment of bliss was short-lived. A pregnancy in this setting was extremely dangerous. Even if we could make it to the bunker before delivery, there was no guarantee that they would have the proper medical equipment for birth.

"Jesus." Bellamy muttered under his breath. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration and abruptly stood up. "Are you alright? How do you feel?"

"Okay I guess. Just overwhelmed." I sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed my palms across my thighs in an attempt to calm myself.

"Wait...the radiation. Do you think it hurt the baby? You were pretty sick for a while there. I didn't think you would recover. How could a child survive that?" Bellamy's words felt like a jab to the chest. I hadn't considered what the exposure did to the baby. Absentmindedly, I moved my hand and placed it on my abdomen. I wished such a simple gesture could somehow save the baby from any harm.

"I don't know. I can't imagine it's good for the baby. I probably should've had a miscarriage. Honestly, there's likely a high chance I could still have a miscarriage. Even if I don't lose the baby, she or he could have birth defects as a result of the radiation." Bellamy let out a small sigh and took a seat next to me. After a moment, he grasped my hand in his and turned to face me.

"What can I do to make sure you're both safe? How can I help?" His eyes were glassy and his brows were furrowed.

"For now, do exactly what you're doing. Be supportive. Just having you around makes me happy." I pressed my head into his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me.

"Fair enough, but I want to help. What happens if you have a miscarriage? How do I help you through that? Say you're able to carry to-term. I don't know how to deliver a baby. I mean I was in the room with my mom when O was born, but she was telling me what to do the entire time. You're the one with the medical knowledge, I need to know how to help if something happens." I could feel his muscles tensing with worry.

"Bell." I lifted my head to look him in the eye. "We're a team now. I know this only adds to our dilemma, but we can make it work. I can teach you everything I know. Besides, Becca has textbooks on just about every form of science you can think of. I'm sure we can find something of use.

"Alright." Bellamy nodded. He stood up and headed towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?

"Like you said, Becca has a million textbooks. I'm going to search her library." Bellamy walked back over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Get some rest, it's still pretty early. I can come wake you in an hour or two." He bent down and gently kissed my forehead. After a moment, he turned and left the room. Without protest, I curled back into bed and drifted back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

As the days went by, Bellamy and I continued preparing for our first venture outside. We managed to fill all four of the oxygen tanks and pack the jeep with a couple days worth of rations. When we weren't preparing for our trip, Bellamy was reading any and all anatomy literature he could find while I continued perfecting our map. We began to fall into a daily routine. It wasn't much but it brought us both some comfort. After fighting to survive each day, it was a relief to have some down time alone with each other.

However, our brief time in domestic bliss was over. The day of our first run was here. Bellamy and I had breakfast together in the kitchen as we ran through our packing list one last time. We had no idea what we were facing outside, but we would survive as long as we were together.

"We packed the flashlights, right?" Bellamy asked, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Yes. Although, I really don't think we'll need them."

"Can't be too careful, right?" I nodded in response. "Ready to go?" He held his hand out for me.

"Let's do this" I walked over and took his hand, placing a kiss on his cheek. We walked together to the garage and started putting on the protective suits. I pulled the bodysuit up over my arms and secured the seal up the front. As I was reaching for my helmet, Bellamy placed his hand on my wrist.

"Wait. One more for the road" He smiled as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my deeply, melting my heart. I pushed myself closer to him and put my arms around my neck. He lowered his hands down to my thighs and started to lift me up.

"Bell." I whispered as I pulled away from his kiss. He sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. "We can finish this later." I teased.

"You're right." He slowly put me down and placed one more kiss on my forehead. We both grabbed our helmets and secured them on top of our suits. I grabbed my oxygen tank and connected it to my suit, testing the seal before hopping in the jeep. Bellamy hit the button to open the garage before hopping in the driver's seat.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Ready." Bellamy started the engine and pulled out of the garage.

As we pulled onto the trail, the sun was blinding. The most jarring sight was the amount of ash piled on the ground. The wind was blowing so strongly that it shook the sides of the jeep. Along with the wind came clouds of ash and smoke. Ahead of us, we could see small fires fires still burning in the forrest. We started moving towards the forrest. As we expected, the water near the lab was completely dried up. It was a sad sight, but it would ultimately help us get to Polis easier.

We made it through the woods dodging small piles of blowing debris. We were about three hours into our trip and the heat was sweltering. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face. I looked over at Bellamy and the edges of his helmet were beginning to fog up. He could feel my gaze and met my eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing. The edges of your helmet are starting to fog."

"My god, they are. It's so hot, I honestly don't know how much longer I can stand it."

"Well we've made good progress so far. According to my sketches, we should be about halfway through the deadzone; maybe a little less." I marked our current location on the map along with the time it took us to get there.

"Alright, then I'm turning back." Bellamy turned the jeep around and started back towards the lab.

"You know, I was really hoping we'd see at least some salvageable plants out here. I know we have plenty rations, but I thought we would see at least something harvestable." I wondered if the planet would heal enough by the time we'd all come out of the bunker.

"Yeah. I haven't seen any animals either. I guess nothing survived the blast." Bellamy let out a sigh as his eyes searched the ground in front of us.

"The planet survived before. There has to be a way for it to survive again." I hoped what I was saying was true. If not, we wouldn't survive very long outside of the bunker. The tears started welling up in my eyes as I thought about all the damage caused by humans. This was such a beautiful planet and I couldn't fathom the idea of living in space once again.

"Well, there is a bright side to all of this destruction. It looks like our path will be much clearer. It might not take us quite as long to map out our route." Bellamy looked over at me and I couldn't hide my sadness from him. "Don't lose hope yet, Clarke." He put his hand on mine. "We can get through this

"I know. I just want to have a life with our family after the bunker. Seeing all this destruction, it seems like that might not happen." I took a minute to calm myself down. "Anyway, looking at our progress today, we might be able to make it to Polis in a month." I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice. While I was enjoying my time alone with Bellamy, I yearned to see my mother and all our people.

"I hope you're right. I really miss Octavia."

"Me too." I couldn't help but smile at Bellamy's love for his family. I knew he would be a great father to our child. Bellamy was loyal to a fault and protective of those he loved. I couldn't imagine going through this without him.

"In the meantime, let's get the hell out of this heat. I feel like I'm melting." He pulled me from my thoughts.

"Agreed." Bellamy sped up a little and we continued back towards the lab. With our first trip a success, we were both hopeful about the next few months. Bellamy and I both decided that going out into this heat for two days in a row likely wasn't healthy for the baby. Tomorrow, Bellamy would make the first solo run.


End file.
